Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Current feelings
Angry, and fed up. Really fucking tired of people hiding important information from me. Angry that all my stuff is spread across 3 different houses, and I can't find fucking anything. Angry that I can't consolidate my stuff into my current living space because someone else's oppressive amount of shit is taking up all the space, and giving me nightmares of shit avalanches. Angry at myself for making poor decisions that are detrimental to my mental health. Angry that I didn't make my low benchmark goals. Angry that even though I'm being kept in the dark, there seems to be some major shut going down. And I have to deal with it alone. So done today.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Minutiae Corner
Minutiae Corner will be a daily record of the small changes I am making in my thinking and behavior that will lead to larger transformations down the way.
Situation: I had a craft show last night. Two situations usually arise from this:
I withdraw money for singles and fives, intending to rede posit it after the show, and instead I spend it on a bunch of stupid shit that I don't need.
I will set a high profit expectation, not meet it, and work myself into an anxiety spiral where I suck, everything I make sucks, and I should quit right now. I would also typically complain to anyone who would listen, and spew negativity all over my (ex) fiance's day.
Solution:
I counted the money, including any profit I made, and deposited it back into the bank (the original money goes into checking, and I will transfer the profit into my growth account)
I decided to take the attitude of "As long as I leave with more money than I started with, it was a good day." When anyone asks, I will tell them that.
Situation: I forgot that I brought my work phone charger home, and my phone died pretty early in the day. Usually this would prompt me to run out on break and buy another charger, despite having 3 such chargers at home already.
Solution: I will charge my phone in the car on work breaks. This saves money, and a frantic trip to the store.
Situation: I forgot my refillable water bottle at home. Normally, this would prompt me to get a soda or water from the vending machine, or even go out and buy another expensive refillable bottle.
Solution: I cleaned out the travel mug I brought for coffee, and filled it from the water fountain.
Deep breaths and baby steps, fellow travelers. What small changes did you make today?
Situation: I had a craft show last night. Two situations usually arise from this:
I withdraw money for singles and fives, intending to rede posit it after the show, and instead I spend it on a bunch of stupid shit that I don't need.
I will set a high profit expectation, not meet it, and work myself into an anxiety spiral where I suck, everything I make sucks, and I should quit right now. I would also typically complain to anyone who would listen, and spew negativity all over my (ex) fiance's day.
Solution:
I counted the money, including any profit I made, and deposited it back into the bank (the original money goes into checking, and I will transfer the profit into my growth account)
I decided to take the attitude of "As long as I leave with more money than I started with, it was a good day." When anyone asks, I will tell them that.
Situation: I forgot that I brought my work phone charger home, and my phone died pretty early in the day. Usually this would prompt me to run out on break and buy another charger, despite having 3 such chargers at home already.
Solution: I will charge my phone in the car on work breaks. This saves money, and a frantic trip to the store.
Situation: I forgot my refillable water bottle at home. Normally, this would prompt me to get a soda or water from the vending machine, or even go out and buy another expensive refillable bottle.
Solution: I cleaned out the travel mug I brought for coffee, and filled it from the water fountain.
Deep breaths and baby steps, fellow travelers. What small changes did you make today?
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Hello, Travelers
“Find out what you're afraid of and go live there.”
― Chuck Palahniuk
My future just became very uncertain.
It was all scripted out - my future husband and I were going to spend our days creating a life for ourselves in Delaware, building a business and raising a child, growing old together. We were a few short months from starting that path.
That relationship has ended. We are still close, but no longer so intertwined. And my future is an exciting, terrifying blank page. I need to figure out who I am, and learn how to be alone again. I need to reconnect with people I lost along the way. I need to overcome the finacial and psychological hurdles that threaten to keep me in stasis. I hope you join me for the journey.
― Chuck Palahniuk
My future just became very uncertain.
It was all scripted out - my future husband and I were going to spend our days creating a life for ourselves in Delaware, building a business and raising a child, growing old together. We were a few short months from starting that path.
That relationship has ended. We are still close, but no longer so intertwined. And my future is an exciting, terrifying blank page. I need to figure out who I am, and learn how to be alone again. I need to reconnect with people I lost along the way. I need to overcome the finacial and psychological hurdles that threaten to keep me in stasis. I hope you join me for the journey.
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